reaching towards perfection

I wish I wasn't such a procrastinator. I wonder what my problem is. I think it's because I have such a hard time getting started, then the pressure kicks in and I have no choice but to start. I end up loosing all that prevented me from starting anyway: the need for perfection. I want my concept to be amazing, because I know that I have the potential for it to be that way. However, it never gets executed like that..........because anything close to perfection takes time. More time than I give myself. If I can wrap my academic being around this, to the point I don't have to remind myself of this fact, and I can get it to be automatic (the fact that I must start earlier no matter what) then the results will only get better over time. I cannot be perfect, so shouldn't let the fear of not being so prevent me from at least doing the best I can. It is the only way I can get better. Doing my best every single time. My dreams are huge, and they can be done, but only if I stop letting my own bad qualities hold me back.

I want to shine so badly, but I don't even deserve it if i don't do what I need to.

I hope putting this down will bring some subconscious clarity, and it can click.